I finished it. I fucking finished it.
Wheatley was trying his best to help his new test subject. She had quite a bit of brain damage. No, that was an understatement. She was obviously mentally retarded. Wheatley didn’t mind. He found it… charming. She made him feel smarter. Even her name was sweet, and he loved to murmur it with his (metaphorical) mechanical lips. Justine. He liked it.
She said the cutest things ins a sing-song voice. Things like, “I whip my portal back and forth” and “cause I’m the smartest girl in the world”. Wheatley found it absolutely adorable and hilarious. He was cracking up with every word that came out of her mouth. Even if Wheatley had to help her with every small task, he didn’t mind. Every moment spent with her was like magic.
“Mister eyeball, help meeee,” Justine wined from across the room. Wheatley loved her cute little nickname for him. Like a pet name. He rolled to where she was and shined his optic to where the portals should be placed. After a few times, Justine finally aimed them right.
“Ohhh, well done, luv,” Wheatley praised her. Justine picked the Intelligence Dampening Sphere (not that she could tell; she was practically the Intelligence Dampening Human) and walked into the elevator, ending the test chamber.
It took her long enough, Wheatley thought. Even he could solve them faster, and he didn’t have arms or legs! In the back of his mind, Wheatley knew he didn’t care about that. He loved the quality time he and Justine had with the long hours spent on the easiest tests. It seemed she was the only smelly human he could stand… did he, perhaps, love her!?
No… it couldn’t be!! He was a robot (and a core, too; he didn’t have the dangling bits to do the deed) and she was a human… what if he were to get his robotic semen in her and impregnate her?! They would make… the ultimate moron!! (Not that he was one, of course, but her stupidity was enough to make up for the both of them.)
Wheatley wiggled uncomfortably in Justine’s hands. Justine took notice and held him close to her face and locked optic/eyes.
“Mister eyebaaaaaall, you’re acting like a kooky person!” Justine told him in a voice that imitated a kindergardener’s. Wheatley’s optic shrunk in embarrassment. Funny, this never made him feel flustered before. Maybe he had become corrupted.
“Oh, um, nothing. Nothing. Just, uh, carry on. Carry on with the testing.”
Justine shrugged her shoulders and stepped out of the elevator into a new test, singing another one of her songs. Wheatley chucked softly. Not only was the girl charming in smarts, her look were fantastic by human standards. At least, that’s what Wheatley’s sensors indicated. Maybe he WAS corrupt…
A few minutes into their next test, Justine was no where closer to finishing the puzzle than she was to curing cancer. Wheatley gave a robotic sigh and approached her.
“Why don’t we… take a break? You know, away from the cameras?” Wheatley motioned towards stick where Justine could plug him in. Justine proceeding to run around the room, asking where and not looking in the obvious places. Wheatley chuckled nervously. “Just… plug me in, and we can escape her.”
After a half an hour, Justine figured out what to do and plugged the blue core onto the stick on the wall. The secret panel opened and Justine looked shocked beyond belief. Wheatley noticed that she found everything he did fascinating. Justine picked the sphere up and walked into the hole the panel opened.
Justine sat down on the ground and put Wheatley in front of her. Wheatley needed to be bold. To snatch up his perfect woman before some other core did. Or HER. He has seen her looking at some… questionable images regarding another test subject she was currently busy with. He cleared his (metaphorical) throat and glanced up at Justine. “Oh, uh, Justine… luv…” Wheatley began, rolling around nervously. Justine scooped him off the floor. “Justine, we are testing now and also my optic opened?” Wheatley rolled into iJustine’s pants and vibrated because he is a SEX MACHINE. “Ohhh, Mister eyeball, ohhh~~~” Justine moaned with ecstasy. “Let’s do it~” “Yes,” Wheatley replied in his SEXY AS HEL voice. “And I will leav my SUPER ASTUTE-NESS on.” Justine gazed as wheatey and then made out with his SMART ASS OPTIC “ohh mister eyeblall your optic is so … SMOOTH JAZZ” wheatley knew this was smart and he ROLLED AROUND HER BODY makign her fee l like the smartest girl in the aperture it was amazing glados came in and nearutoxined them all and wheatley died because he ate too many moonrocks the end
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